I’ve read this book because I saw it mentioned in a sub about a year ago. I knew something was wrong with my parents emotionally, especially my mother, but I didn’t quite know what. I was blown away by the discoveries I made while reading this book. The book discusses multiple types of EIP and I found my mother possess little bits of multiple types which is fairly common. I am the type of person who needs to understand the why in order to heal and this book helped with that. It gave some explanations as to why parents treat their children the way they do. As for not wanting to view your mother as a villain, well reading a book isn’t going to do that. If you feel any anger or animosity, it is just part of the grieving and healing process. A book isn’t going to make you feel a certain way towards someone, but realizing you’ve been mistreated might. This book might actually help you be more understanding - it shared that most abuse stems from abuse, so it helped me realize my mother was a victim too. I will also caution you to allow yourself to feel your emotions. I hindered myself by being irritated that I was still angry with my mother. Once I allowed myself to experience the emotion, I moved forward in my healing journey. As for improving yourself, this book isn’t going to do that directly. It’ll show you what adult immaturity is and you’ll likely avoid those behaviors which would be an improvement of sorts. To really improve yourself, you need to know what your issues are. Personally, I have codependency issues that stem from my being raised by EIP. This book started me on the path toward discovering that. The book “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” is what’s transforming my thinking and helping me heal. To figure out my own issues I did a lot of searching of my symptoms. I researched different types of parenting and the types of children/adults they result in. When I figured out my issues, I searched for books. Good luck!