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reddit.com › r/quotesporn › "some men see things as they are" - robert f. kennedy [1024x768]

r/QuotesPorn on Reddit: "Some men see things as they are" - Robert F. Kennedy [1024x768]

May 11, 2013 - "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -Voltaire* ... “Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not?

reddit.com › r/socialskills › why do people press and ask "why?" when you tell them no to something?

r/socialskills on Reddit: Why do people press and ask "Why?" when you tell them no to something?

August 3, 2024 -

I can't just be me right? I hate it when I tell somebody no, or I don't want to do something that they themselves want to do and they keep asking why or just pressing me about details. I can't tell if it's out of curiosity, malice, wanting me to change my mind, or something. I don't mind talking about how I feel or what I'm thinking, but the way it's asked always make me feel kind of cornered.

Sometimes people ask "why" because they are genuinely curious. It's up to you to place boundaries and it's up to them to respect them.

If I don't know why someone refuses oftentimes I'm gonna start overthinking, assuming the worst and just gonna feel bad. Now if you'd say something like "I don't really want to talk about why" then that's all good, I'm going to assume you have a very personal reason. But no answer or a cop out is going to make me feel like you have no good reason and just don't give a shit about me or whatever you are refusing. I know that does not have to be the case but feelings aren't known for being rational. And sometimes I'm just curious.

reddit.com › r/advice › good response when someone asks "why" to you about something?

r/Advice on Reddit: Good response when someone asks "why" to you about something?

April 7, 2024 -

I have a friend who will ask "do you mind if I ask why?" in response to me saying I have to go or why I can't do something, and it's very annoying and I can't quite figure out a good way to deny him an explanation. Any advice?

Well, it's up to you to share the details or not. If you don't want to say, simply say "yes, I do mind. It's a private matter, which does not involve you in any way, so I'd appreciate it if you stopped questioning me any further". It's a polite, yet firm answer, that should cut further "investigations and inquiries".

I'm a tad Tistic and often just tell the truth. "I don't want to." Or "I would Rather..." It's shocking how well people respond to that blunt "No".

reddit.com › r/socialskills › people who like to ask why to their friends, family and partners, why?

r/socialskills on Reddit: People who like to ask why to their friends, family and partners, why?

June 7, 2025 -

So, I notice that some people (family and friends) has this habit of unnecessarily asking why to some of my habits/preferences/actions. Mind you, these are not things I do which endangers other. Let's say, I don't eat something which people commonly eat and not a common allergen, for me, its obvious its a matter of preference. But some people still asks why. Or other times, like choosing to buy a handbag, or choosing to do one task over the other first, or having a coaster on my table, or choosing to drink something warm instead of cold and people asks why?

I feel like I am asked to justify my actions/choices with all these whys. These are people who in general, I adore and care about but the whys are annoying. Hence, when answering these questions, I tend to sound stand offish with my 'why not?'

If anyone has this habit of asking why or understands why they are doing this, please help me understand from their POV.

It’s impossible to say without knowing the two of you personally. Some possible reasons I’ve encountered: They really just want to better understand your reasoning for doing things a certain way and don’t see any issues with asking. Maybe that’s how they grew up or maybe it’s the tism 🤷🏽‍♀️ They look up to you and want to know more about how your mind works, maybe so they can emulate it and be more like you in the ways they admire. They think they might know a better way to do things, but want to understand why you’ve chosen to do your way before suggesting changes. This is one I do 😅 it’s what I trained myself to do rather than “why don’t you just do this instead?” Which comes off more rude 😅😅 They want to start a conversation, but don’t know what to talk about, so they just start asking you questions about what you’re doing and why. They are being judgmental and want you to explain why you are doing something they see as wrong. They are being passive aggressive and are trying to get you to do something else, but don’t want to just come out and ask it. They are being outright mean and are mocking or taunting you. Unfortunately, it’s generally impossible to ever know what another person is thinking without actually talking to them about it. Any guess you can possibly make is always going to be clouded by your own biases and will always come from a place significantly different than where they will come from. So, if this is behavior that you are receiving that you would like to stop, change, or better understand, really the only advice we can give is that you need to go talk to the person. “Hey, I’ve noticed that you often ask me ‘why’ questions about the things I do. You may not know, but that tends to make me wonder if you think that I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, it feels kind of judgmental to me. Can you explain to me what you’re thinking when you do that? Or is there a particular response that you’re looking for? I just would like to stop feeling like I’m being judged, so I need to understand what’s really going on in your head at those times instead of assuming you mean something bad.”

You can always ask “why do you ask?” I usually ask the why question with the preface reason for asking. It (hopefully) doesn’t come across nearly as rude or judgmental as “why” on its own does: … I am curious why you are doing … like that? … I don’t understand, why don’t you like xxx? This is how I learned about the cilantro and coffee issues other people face. … If I may be so bold to ask, why? This is more for personal reasons why someone is doing something, but I have no real to expect an answer. Honestly, I don’t expect answers from any - no one is obliged to provide me any. I tend to come from a place of curiosity rather than judgement, but it doesn’t always show.

reddit.com › r/askreddit › what is a good way to respond when someone asks "why" about something?

r/AskReddit on Reddit: What is a good way to respond when someone asks "why" about something?

April 7, 2024 - I have a friend who will ask "do you mind if I ask why?" in response to me saying I have to go or why I can't do something, and it's very annoying and I can't quite figure out a good way to deny him an explanation.

reddit.com › r/socialskills › how to deal with someone saying "why do you want to know?/why are you asking?" when i ask them about themselves

r/socialskills on Reddit: How to deal with someone saying "Why do you want to know?/Why are you asking?" When I ask them about themselves

November 6, 2023 -

I've recently been trying to socialize more and learn to talk to people more easily, and I have encountered this problem a couple of times on 1st conversation with someone I don't know.

Usually the conversation goes like this-

We tell each other our names, what college we are in (I'm a junior college student), which subjects we have selected for Jr. College, then

Me: So... what are your hobbies?/What's your favorite color? (These are the 2 questions I can come up with after we have introduced each other)

Them: Why do you want to know?

Me: Cuz I'm curious...

Then I start to feel that they're not interested in the conversation and I just leave.

I haven't always had this problem happen, but it has happened a couple of times. I want to continue the conversation after that, or avoid having this question asked altogether.

Conversations need to flow, one topic related to the next. It shouldn't be survey where you throw unrelated questions at people. The problem you're likely facing is that by asking a non sequitur, the other person suddenly has to change topic in their mind and it is easier to throw a question back at you than answer, plus they will be curious and question your motives for asking. Your response isn't ideal either. When someone answers a question with a question like that, it's a refusal. By saying "Cuz I'm curious" you're replying to their "I'm not telling you", with "Tell me anyway", that's likely to make them entrenched. What you ought to do is give information about yourself and open up the conversation with something like, "I was hoping you'd say you like watching films because I just saw x and I'd like to hear your take on it," or something crazy like "You look like you're adventurous and might do something like extreme ironing, so I had to ask. Have you done anything daring recently?" Don't ask about favourite colours unless you're on the topic of clothes or art because it's a dead-end topic since - it's their opinion which is based on nothing, even if they have one, which many adults won't have since they see it as childish. The best you could probably do is come up with some bs like relating colours to personality characteristics, which is a bit weak.

I think the favorite color question is the problem here. Asking about hobbies shouldn’t be a problem.

reddit.com › r/alwayswhy › why does asking “why” sometimes make people angry?

r/AlwaysWhy on Reddit: Why does asking “why” sometimes make people angry?

November 6, 2025 -

I’m genuinely curious, sometimes when I ask “why,” it seems to trigger anger or defensiveness. It feels like my simple question turns into a “why not” challenge or confrontation.

For me, asking “why” is meant to be a neutral, exploratory question, an invitation to be humble, to admit I am ignorant, and to explore perspectives I haven’t considered. But I’ve noticed that even when I try to ask genuinely, the words and phrasing I choose can sometimes come across as critical or challenging.

I wonder—is it because “why” carries some implicit assumptions in social interactions, or is there another reason behind this? I’m curious how other people experience this.

I’ve learned so much from the perspectives and insights shared in this sub, and I really appreciate it. I value this space and hope that “why” can remain a tool for curiosity and understanding, not confrontation or anger.

Because you are directly challenging their core beliefs. Seeking the truth is not a priority in humans, its secondary, Most people care more about survival and relationships, and its not a weakness, so your questions probably just challange the beliefs that help them survive. I struggled alot with this in the past, my solution was to just learn to communicate better with people. Most of them aren’t really stubborn or dumb, you just need the right words.

Why requires a justification and most people (at least in my culture), do not like to justify themselves. I’ve learned to use what instead.

reddit.com › r/millennials › does anyone else still ask “why” all the time, even as an adult?

r/Millennials on Reddit: Does anyone else still ask “why” all the time, even as an adult?

August 28, 2025 -

I thought getting older would mean I’d stop asking so many questions, but honestly… I still catch myself going “why?” about almost everything. At work, in conversations, even with random daily stuff.

Sometimes people see it as curiosity, other times they take it as me being difficult. But it just feels natural, like I can’t help wanting to peel back the layers of how things work.

Does anyone else still do this?

I'm an engineer. Asking and investigating why things happened is a significant portion of my job description, and therefore my days.

reddit.com › r/intp › why do some people hate being asked “why”?

r/INTP on Reddit: Why do some people hate being asked “why”?

August 21, 2025 -

I notice this a lot, both at work and in everyday life. I’ll ask something simple like why we do a process a certain way or why a rule exists, and suddenly people act like I’m personally attacking them.

For me, asking “why” is just a way to understand the system, to see patterns, or to figure out if there’s a better approach. I don’t see it as criticism, just curiosity.

It makes me wonder if the problem lies more with the person being asked than with the question itself. Maybe not everyone is comfortable with uncertainty or having to explain themselves.

What are some of your “whys” that people just don’t understand?

Well, dear INTP, I will answer your question from my point of view. While I totally agree that the problem may lie with the person instead of the question, it may also be that they just want to get on with the task and leave it behind them. Since you didn’t give clear examples of what questions got people mad at you, I’ll start with the most trivial ones and then move to more complex ones. 1. Asking a question you could easily answer yourself. Let’s say I’m making you pancakes and you ask me, “Why do you flip them?” I answer, “So they don’t get burned.” To me, that’s self-explanatory, so no further questions need to be asked. But if you started going deeper, like “Why do they get burned?” or “Why does heat affect the bottom more than the top?” I’d assume you’re just trying to annoy me or start unnecessary small talk about pancakes. 2. Asking a question that was already answered somewhere and you just missed it. Maybe the rule or reason was already explained in instructions, during a meeting, or even written down somewhere, but you didn’t catch it. When you ask again, the other person feels like they’re repeating themselves and wasting time. That can get irritating quickly. 3. Asking a question that feels like you’re doubting the whole system. Sometimes “why” can sound like “prove to me this isn’t stupid.” For example, if at work there’s a safety protocol and you keep asking “Why do we need this?” people might hear it as you questioning their judgment or the system itself. Even if you’re just curious, to someone who values structure it can sound like you’re undermining it. And there’s also another angle: some rules exist so chaos doesn’t stop the delivery of the thing we’re actually trying to achieve. Sure, it’s fun coming up with new approaches, but at the end of the day, the work has to get delivered. Systems can be so interconnected that changing one part without planning can cause the whole thing to break down. That’s why changes usually need to be designed outside the system first, tested properly, and only then replaced if it really works better. So from my side, it’s not always that the person is insecure — it can also be that your “why” feels like slowing down the process, missing what was already explained, or poking holes in something that’s meant to be solid enough to keep everything running. In the end, I think both sides have a point: asking “why” can be good, but depending on context it can also sound like resistance or delay

As someone who isn't an INTP, who says why to everyone but hate when someone Ask me why it's because i am bad at explaining things

reddit.com › r/asknt › why is asking 'why?' a forbidden question for some neurotypicals?

r/AskNT on Reddit: Why is asking 'why?' a forbidden question for some neurotypicals?

November 16, 2024 -

I just got yelled at, accused of 'questioning everything they do' and 'how they do anything', where the purpose of me asking why is an honest curiosity to understand the rationale for the method of why they do things a certain way, the purpose for choosing x over y, and why x is better than y so I might be able to understand and adapt or make adjustments my own understanding if I believe y is optimal because I may be missing an understanding that x is more efficient or the optimal way to do or experience something. I just want to learn why they do things a certain way so I might be able to learn from them and improve myself.

I've tried many times to explain my reason for asking 'why' to the best of my ability, but I have not yet been able to communicate it in a way that has been able to be understood. TIA

I’m autistic myself, but have noticed that timing of questions can matter. For example, if I ask why someone is doing something as they are in the act of doing it, they might get overwhelmed and not want to answer my question. It can be difficult for both ND and NT people to multitask well imo. Anyway, usually I try to wait to ask why someone does something a certain way until after they are done doing it. Sometimes I have the opportunity to ask before they do whatever it is too. That way my questions are not bothering the person as they are busy doing something, and also I think this way there is less of a chance of them seeing it as me being critical of them. I’ve noticed that asking questions about why someone is doing something a certain way while they are doing it can be seen as criticism (idk why that is tho) but waiting until after they’re done is usually not seen as criticism. At least in my experience.

It’s not a forbidden question. There’s something going on in the context that is missing, here. The person you are asking may be overwhelmed by the questions if you ask a lot of them, or may just not feel like answering questions.

Find elsewhere

Google Bing Mojeek

reddit.com › r/adulting › does anyone else still ask “why” all the time, even as an adult?

r/Adulting on Reddit: Does anyone else still ask “why” all the time, even as an adult?

August 27, 2025 -

I thought getting older would mean I’d stop asking so many questions, but honestly… I still catch myself going “why?” about almost everything. At work, in conversations, even with random daily stuff.

Sometimes people see it as curiosity, other times they take it as me being difficult. But it just feels natural, like I can’t help wanting to peel back the layers of how things work.

Does anyone else still do this? Or did you eventually grow out of it?

Yes. Then after some reflection I realized I was autistic.

Yes. Be very thankful that you still do.

reddit.com › r/casualconversation › people should ask "why" more often.

r/CasualConversation on Reddit: People should ask "why" more often.

June 3, 2026 -

I'm not sure if this is a chill discussion or a serious one, but the statement above is what I believe. Not in the annoying way like kids do, but in general. It would help solve a lot of things, or at the very least get people to think more critically. Also to understand themselves and the people around them. Why did they eat a big meal? Why did they make that decision? Why are they thinking like that? Why did they do that action? Even if people don't have an internal monologue, they can ask it aloud to themeselves. What do y'all think

agree but theres a reason most people dont. asking why honestly forces you to either change something or admit youre not going to. both are uncomfortable. its easier to just not ask the people who do ask "why" a lot are usually either kids, therapists, or exhausted

Most adults have the social expectation of knowing why, and not having to ask why. unfortunately, this also leads to overdependence on personal judgements and underexposure to genuine curiosity.

reddit.com › r/parenting › how do you handle all the “why” questions?

r/Parenting on Reddit: How do you handle all the “why” questions?

June 13, 2025 -

My 5-year-old asks “why” about everything ... why we hiccup, why it rains, why hands get sweaty... and it just keeps going 😅

Some days I feel like Google in human form. But honestly… I don’t always know the answers. And even when I do, it’s hard to explain them in a way that actually makes sense to a kid.

I love that she’s curious, but whew it can be a lot.

How do you all handle this? Do you explain everything? Make up fun stories? Or just say “because that’s how it is”? Would love to hear what works for you.

Sometimes I explained in great scientific detail and adult language until she got bored, sometimes I just said, “I don’t know” and sometimes I asked her why she thought - which was often quite funny.

Say you don’t know and ask if they have any ideas on how you can find out. Introduce them to the library.

reddit.com › r/aspiememes › when someone asks you why you did something, so you give a genuine reason and they tell you ‘stop making excuses’

r/aspiememes on Reddit: When someone asks you why you did something, so you give a genuine reason and they tell you ‘Stop making excuses’

February 11, 2024 - Sometimes you have a basic reason but you have that reason is because another reason, something else maybe not a good enough respect of their feelings/boundaries. They ask this to let them know they maybe disagree or just do not understand why you’d do the thing, often they don’t understand that you don’t understand how your actions affect other people’s feelings.

reddit.com › r/petpeeves › when you ask someone why they did or say something and they answer with “why not?”

r/PetPeeves on Reddit: When you ask someone why they did or say something and they answer with “Why not?”

December 16, 2023 -

It doesn’t tell me why they did it. They are just saying that to excuse their behavior. It’s like they are stubborn and don’t want to explain why. I hate when people use that as an answer. It doesn’t explain anything.

I really can't see anyone outside of an impulsive child using that explanation for anything really. Especially not a functional adult. If you know someone who's in their 20s who uses this phrase then I would say avoid them until they mature a bit more

reddit.com › r/petpeeves › when i ask a perfectly reasonable question and someone demands to know why i asked it.

r/PetPeeves on Reddit: When I ask a perfectly reasonable question and someone demands to know WHY I asked it.

March 8, 2026 -

"What time is it?"

"2:30. Why?"

Holy shit. Must I truly explain myself in this scenario? What reasons might I have for asking the time? And what consequence could they possibly have for you. Can I not just be curious?

Not much of a demand, just a simple question. If the answer is that you're curious, then that is the reason. If you can "just be curious" about the time, can they not "just be curious" about the reason you need to know it?

Asking why you asked “what time is it” is also a reasonable question.

reddit.com › r/petpeeves › when people ask “is there a reason you are doing that?” instead of asking “why are you doing that?”

r/PetPeeves on Reddit: When people ask “is there a reason you are doing that?” Instead of asking “why are you doing that?”

May 18, 2024 -

Why do people ask it that way

I know some people who ask it that way because they've been told it'd rude to ask for the reason why. Personally, being told it's rude to ask for the reason why made me stop asking, but I know others who just changed the way they ask.

I won’t lie, I read that first one as snarky. I’ve primarily seen it used sarcastically, but that could 100% be cultural as I’m seeing that other people have been told that’s the polite way to ask why. To me it’s the same tone as “are you supposed to be on the sofa?” To your pet and they look at you all guilty. They are questions in different forms. Close-ended and open-ended. For me I wouldn’t ask them because I usually ask specifically what I want to know. Ex: “can you run me through the steps really quickly?” It’s really about tone “what made you decide to use this instead of that?” in a genuinely curious tone, and not passive aggressively. Idk I guess my answer is both are fine if it’s what you hear regularly and you use the correct tone because the words can give ambiguous vibes.

reddit.com › r/askreddit › when someone keeps asking 'why?','why?','why?' to everything you say, what is the best answer?

r/AskReddit on Reddit: When someone keeps asking 'why?','why?','why?' to everything you say, what is the best answer?

May 19, 2015 - Because some things are and some things are not! There can't be everything is and nothing isn't! ... SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR FRIES! ... Ask them "why do you think x?", the 'x' being a rewording of their question.

reddit.com › r/petpeeves › people that answer a question with a question.

r/PetPeeves on Reddit: People that answer a question with a question.

April 4, 2025 -

And I don't mean a broad, general question so they ask to narrow down their answer. I mean direct, exact questions. My mother does this all the time.

"Did you call the plumber?" "Why do you ask?"

"Where did you put the remote?" "Why do ypu need it?"

Etc. It drives me up a wall.

For fuck's sake. ANSWER THE QUESTION FIRST, THEN ASK YOURS! SHOW SOME COURTESY

When we were younger, my sister taught me that answering a question with a question is often a good strategy to deal with certain kinds of questions. People often ask leading questions instead of just asking what they really want to know. “Where did you put the remote?” “I put it in the end table out of reach because you keep trying to channel surf when my show comes on. Now I have to find a new hiding place. Thanks for asking. I’m so glad I answered directly instead of deflecting and asking for your motive behind asking your question.”

I do this a lot. Mainly, it helps me know how to answer. Sometimes I really do want to know why I am being asked something.🤷🏻‍♀️

reddit.com › r/infj › do you always ask why?

r/infj on Reddit: Do you always ask why?

March 23, 2024 -

Living by pushing the wheel for other people

Some people live by just pushing the wheel for others, they do not know any other way to live

the other way is to create their own wheel which can be very hard or can be impossible in some cases

but some people never ask "why" which sounds stupid to me, I wonder how some people live without asking why?

I mean I ask why about everything, if someone gives me a gift I ask myself why is he doing it, if someone tells me a piece of information I automatically ask myself why is he giving me this piece of information.

It is too natural that I thought everybody should be doing this! I never thought that someone could live his life without asking himself why? is not that dangerous though?

Figuring out how is and always will be a matter of time. Figuring out why is not always obtainable and I love that