The entire band of the falcon died. Judeau died :'( Pippin died, Gaston died, everyone died. Casca doesn't remember anything. Griffith is a son of a bitch. I HATE HIM, how could he do something like that to his comrades and friends?! I already cried, I don't know what the fuck just happened, or what to expect... I feel great condolences for Guts...

I need a hug, this overwhelmed me.

I have been sad for a long time now (long time for me I am still a teenager it's probably not a long time for most people) and I've been losing interest in almost everything. Things I used to like doing are like chores for me now and I don't know why. I've been thinking about death a lot all the time and been looking for ways to kill myself but I feel like I can't really die I'm not sure why. I dont have many friends irl and we barely talk anyway so they can't help me if this is a problem and I feel like my online friends don't care at all and I'm bothering them, so they can't help me either if this is a problem. I don't know if it's a real issue or not, I have no reason to feel like that, and everyone is like that anyway (I think?) so I don't know if I'm being dramatic or not, or if I even deserve help.

(Sorry for my bad English and what I wrote this is my first using reddit I want to get this off my chest and ask for help that's it)

I (female 21) have been going through this difficult situation with this guy I have been seeing (male 22) for a few months now and I still don't understand how we got here and what to do next.

Now let me take you back to the beginning. Back in December, I was just finishing up the Fall semester of my last year at college and I wasn't concerned about dating and meeting someone at all. Earlier that year I was going through heartbreak after heartbreak and I decided that I should take a break from dating and focus on school. And then cue the guy.

We ended up meeting at a bar while I was out with my friends to celebrate one of my friend's birthday. We talked, I asked him for his number, and we texted every day after that. We ended up going on a few great dates before I had to leave to go home for winter break (I go to a school in a different state from where I grew up) and he had to move out of his apartment (he was moving back home after graduating a few weeks after we met).

We talked and texted every day for the 6 weeks I was on break. We would be on the phone for hours. Facetiming till 4 am and texting constantly throughout the day. I have not laughed and smiled so much in such a long time. We talked about absolutely everything our likes, dislikes, our families, our goals, and our dreams. We go from being serious and vulnerable to laughing about the absolute dumbest things.

We were both looking forward to me finally coming back for the Spring semester. We even had a shared note where we would list all of the things we wanted to do on our dates when we were finally together in-person. We even talked about the possibility of us being official.

When I finally got back things were going great. We went on a few dates and were setting into the grove of being together in person.

Then it all went to crap the night he was going to meet the rest of my friends. The plan was for all of us to pre-game at my apartment, go out to the local bars, then me and him were going to take an Uber to the hotel he was staying at since my roommate doesn't feel comfortable with me having guys over that she hasn't gotten the chance to know yet.

When I picked him up to go get dinner before getting ready he was in a weird mood. He told me that he wasn't really feeling up going out. I encouraged him to just come out since I really wanted him to meet my friends and I thought it was just another case of he is just saying he doesn't want to go out but once he does he will be fine. So I told him just try to push through and if he really wants to we can leave early.

By the time we leave the pre-game and start walking to the bars, he is extremely drunk. I am trying to manage him and at one point he even runs into the street. It only gets worse once we get to the bar. So after a while, I told him let's go home and I called an Uber back to his hotel.

Once we get back to his hotel he essentially goes into a depressive spiral. Saying all of these horrible things about himself and telling me to just leave him there. I stay with him try to comfort him and talk things through but it doesn't seem to help. He starts to get angry with me and I just match his energy since I'm not the type of person that can be easily scared away and I know he doesn't really mean what he is saying.

We end up talking in circles until my friend calls me saying that she can't get into my apartment. I tell him what's going on and he tells me that I should go and help her. By this time he has become more sober. He offers to drive me home and I accept. Once we got in the car things returned to a more calmer mood. We both acknowledge the fact that he has a lot of trauma to work through, but we both have strong feelings for each other and want to see what is in store for the future. When we get to my apartment he tells me that we can meet and talk about this more tomorrow.

It has been about 2 weeks since that night and I haven't seen him since. The next day I didn't receive a text from him until the afternoon and that was after me calling and texting him to check in with me on when we would meet up.

He continues to text me, but nothing more than a "good morning" or "how was your day?" I have tried to set things up to talk to him about what happened but he just ignores it. Through all of the hurt I feel with all of this distance I also can't help but be concerned about his well-being. That night scared me and showed me that he is really in a dark place. All I hope is that he can get the help he needs in the future.

I sent him a text asking him if he wanted to get together, not to talk, but just to do something fun. Cause through all of this I still miss him. He texted me back a day later saying that he is sorry and that he has been meaning to talk to me. All I responded with was "Just let me know when you want to meet up."

It has been a day since then and so far I have heard nothing. Right now I'm just at a loss. I spent all of this time getting to know someone for it only to get to this point. And I can't help but feel like we were meant to meet for a reason and I don't think it is this. So what should I do?